Oscar Predictions by Tonymation

Welcome to the first annual Tonymation Oscar prediction.

1. 24 jokes, read from the teleprompter, will fall flat.

2. Jack Nicholson will notice he's on camera and pretend he's enjoying himself... twice.

3. Joan Rivers will find 8 expensive gowns, that cost more than my PT Cruiser, and make fun of them, while wearing a smile that's 95% pure plastic.

4. There will be 2 tantalizingly inappropriate dresses scantily strewn around a sexy star walking down the red carpet.

5. There will be 1 inappropriate dress scantily strewn around a not so sexy star.

6. Heath Ledger and/or his tragic death will be mentioned 34 times.

7. Eight Oscar winners will be cut off with the standard, "you're not important enough to use this much time" music.

8. More people will be worried whether Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt will run into each other than there are starving children in Africa.

9. There will be 4 Oscar winner no-shows, and I will accept the award on their behalf.

10. Eighteen pharmaceutical ads will air, all of which will site at least a dozen side-effects, which may include: blood clots, loss of hearing, headaches, blurred vision, erections that last over four hours, sudden implosion of the pancreas, and death.

11. One Oscar winner will thank Barak Obama in their accpetance speech.

12. Somebody will faint when an Oscar winner mentions Barak Obama's name.

13. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button will be flubbed 3 times.

14. Hugh Jackman will appear on stage as Wolverine.

15. Wolverine will appear on stage as Hugh Jackman.

16. "I'm just happy to be nominated" will be said in some form 13 times.

17. Freida Pinto's ex-husband will crash 8 after parties, in a mad rage, searching for Dev Patel.

18. Jennifer Anniston will pay the wait staff $1 million to spit in Angelina Jolie's drink.

19. Kung Fu Panda will win the award for Best Animated Feature Film.

20. Wall-E will kidnap Po and stuff him in his trash compactor, causing the Kung Fu Panda sequal rewrite to include an explanation for the disappearance of the main character.

21. And my last prediction: I will not be watching the Academy Awards show.

See you next year!